The way children learn is shaped by what they know and how motivated they are. Most of the research on how children learn math from their parents has focused on informal conversations kids and parents have that include numbers, counting and basic arithmetic skills like addition and subtraction, all cognitive practices.

Parents' motivational practices, when they encourage their children to think about solving problems independently, are also important, and fewer studies have examined this aspect of parental input.

Let kids take the lead, explore and experiment. This can be hard for parents to watch because trying different strategies can make children seem to struggle and it takes more time.

Because engagement and motivation help children to learn, researchers at the University of Illinois were surprised at how often parents' motivational practices were overlooked, so they undertook a review of the theory and research on cognitive parenting practices in the context of math learning and emerging research on motivational parenting practices.

The idea was to emphasize that both motivational parenting practices and cognitive parenting practices contribute to children's math learning.

“We have underappreciated how parents engage their children around math,” the researchers said in an interview with the Society for Research on Child Development. “For parents and caregivers, the practical message is that math support isn't only about transmitting content — it's also about the context they create around it. Are they keeping their own frustration in check when math gets hard? Are they letting children take the lead, ask their own questions, and try their own strategies before stepping in? When children succeed or struggle, are parents pointing to effort and approach rather than to whether the child is ‘smart' or ‘bad at math'?”

There are many ways parents can help kids become more number-savvy — and avoid discouraging them as they try to solve problems. Eva Pomerantz, corresponding author on the study, shared with TheDoctor some motivational practice tips for parents that encourage children to build their confidence by developing their math skills:

  • Ask questions that prompt children to try and solve math problems on their own, such as, “What do you think comes next?” an approach called scaffolding in which children do the work and parents provide enough support to keep them going.

  • Nurture children's motivation and their sense of independence by letting them take the lead, explore and experiment. This can be hard for parents to watch because trying different strategies can make children seem to struggle and it takes more time, “But that effort is where learning happens,” Pomerantz explained.

    • Doing well and struggling are both part of learning. Letting your children struggle and not rushing to solve the problem yourself or correct your child is itself a type of support.

  • Stay calm. Feelings of anxiety, frustration and irritation do not help. Parents can suggest a short break when their patience wears thin, and say something like, “Wow, this is getting tricky. Let's come back in five minutes with fresh minds.” Or let children keep working and go check on dinner.

  • Be equally mindful of praise and criticism. Doing well and struggling are both part of learning. Simple phrases, like “Yes, you've got it!” or “Hmmm…does that look right to you?” may work best, Pomerantz, the director of the Center for Social and Behavioral Sciences at the University of Illinois and a professor of psychology there, said. She advised parents not to overuse these phrases, however.

Teachers use these same strategies in their classrooms, the researchers explained. Doing well and struggling are both part of learning. Letting your children struggle and not rushing to solve the problem yourself or correct your child is itself a type of support.

The study is published in Child Development Perspectives.