If you've ever handed your fussy toddler a phone or tablet just to make it through the grocery store, a restaurant meal or a doctor's waiting room, you're hardly alone. But parents have wondered whether using a screen to calm a distressed child is helpful, harmful or somewhere in between. A new study suggests the answer isn't nearly as simple as many people believe.

Screens used to soothe young children won't affect every child the same way, researchers at The Ohio State University found. For most families, screen time and children's cognitive development influence each other over time. But other forces, particularly a parent's mental health, also appear to play an important role.

Simply telling parents to limit screen time misses part of the picture. Supporting parents' emotional well-being may also help children develop healthier relationships with technology.

The study looked at how exposure to media influences children's development using data from an ongoing Brigham Young University study, Project M.E.D.I.A.

The researchers, led by Ohio State University assistant professor of communication Jane Shawcroft, followed children over six waves of data collection, tracking them from approximately 2 ½ to 7 ½ years of age. The team examined the use of television, smartphones or tablets to help children calm down when they're upset — what researchers call “media emotion regulation.”

Two key components of children's executive function related to emotional regulation were tracked. Kids' cognitive flexibility is what enables them to adapt to changing situations, solve problems and see another person's point of view. The other aspect, inhibitory control, is their ability to think before acting and stop impulsive behavior.

Both skills are considered essential for success in school, good relationships with friends and emotional well-being.

Rather than simply asking whether screens are good or bad, the investigators explored three more nuanced possibilities. They wanted to know:

For the majority of children, roughly 87 percent, they found the relationship worked both ways: Children who were harder to soothe were more likely to be shown a screen to distract and calm them; and that screen use, in turn, influenced the development of their executive functioning. Those changing cognitive skills then affected how often parents relied on screens in the future.

Parents may turn to screens not because they are careless, but because they are exhausted, overwhelmed or struggling themselves.

“It's not just that the effects are larger or smaller for some kids — the underlying pattern is different for different kids,” Shawcroft said in a news release.

The researchers also identified two much smaller groups that didn't fit this pattern. About 5 percent of children showed a more complex relationship that researchers are continuing to investigate.

Another 7 percent followed a different path altogether. In those families, screen use appeared to shape children's cognitive development, but the children's cognitive skills did not predict when parents would reach for a screen. One characteristic stood out: parents in this group were more likely to report symptoms of depression.

This finding highlights an important point. Parents may turn to screens not because they are careless, but because they are exhausted, overwhelmed or struggling themselves.

“We found that parent mental health is a strong predictor of the way parents use technology with their young kids. Because technology is a lever parents can pull when parents don't have the resources to cope with their own poor mental health,” Shawcroft said.

The findings suggest that simply telling parents to limit screen time misses part of the picture. Supporting parents' emotional well-being may also help children develop healthier relationships with technology.

Children who were harder to soothe were more likely to be put in front of a screen, and that use of a screen, in turn, influenced the development of their executive functioning.

Instead of fueling guilt, the study points toward practical solutions. Parents can encourage executive function through independent outdoor play, imaginative games, reading together and giving kids opportunities to practice waiting, taking turns and solving simple problems. At the same time, families benefit when communities provide support through relatives, friends, neighbors and accessible mental health resources.

In other words, occasional screen viewing isn't necessarily the problem. Understanding why it's being used and making sure parents have other tools and support available may matter far more.

The study is published in the Journal of Communication.