Most parents have heard their child say something like, “I don't want to go to school,” or “I'm not feeling well. I want to stay home.” When not wanting to go to school starts to happen regularly, however, it becomes school avoidance, a possible sign of emotional distress. The National Institutes of Health estimates that 28 percent of kids experience school avoidance, which is most common among children going to new schools and those between the ages of 10 and 13.

“I see this clinically all the time,” Ariana Hoet, executive clinical director of The Kids Mental Health Foundation, said in a statement. “Kids are anxious. Parents don't want their kids to be anxious, so they decide to keep them home.” The more people avoid things that make them anxious, she added, the bigger their anxiety gets. When parents let their children stay home, it just makes the child's anxiety grow.

School avoidance can happen for many reasons, including a fear of being bullied or not fitting in, or being nervous about a presentation they have to give in front of the class or a test they have to take.

The Kids Mental Health Foundation recently conducted a nationwide survey of more than 1,000 parents in the U.S. with children younger than 18 years old.

Thirty percent of parents whose child missed school last year because of anxiety or fear reported their child missed more than a week of classes.

Forty-two percent of children who missed school said they did not feel well enough to go to class, and 20 percent said their children complained they were too tired to go to school.

The desire to avoid school can happen for many reasons, including a fear of being bullied or not fitting in, Hoet, a pediatric psychologist at Nationwide Children's Hospital, said. Kids may also be nervous about a presentation they have to give in front of the class or a test they have to take.

Parents can do a few things to ease their children's anxiety about going to school:

  • Talk to their children. Parents should start by asking their kids why they don't want to go to school. These conversations are an important way to help kids learn to cope with strong emotions. Anxiety often starts by thinking about the worst that could happen. Parents can help their children see how some of their fears will never be realized.
  • Set expectations. Children need to know that their parents expect them to go to school. Kids and parents can talk about what the school day might look like and possible ways to address children's concerns.

    • When parents let kids stay home, it just makes the child's anxiety grow.

  • Practice and prepare. Parents can have their children practice getting ready for school a few days before the school year starts or before a holiday break is over. Children starting a new school in the fall can visit the school and even meet their teacher before the school year starts. During the school year, parents can help their children rehearse a class presentation or role-play conversations with peers.
Children who are still anxious about going to school or avoid school for several days in a row may benefit from therapy. Therapists can show children how to deal with negative or anxious thoughts. Kids will learn they can do things that seem difficult and that facing their fears increases their confidence over time.

If you are the parent of a child who is anxious about going to school or exhibiting school avoidance you may want to look at the Kids Mental Health Foundation's page offering tips and information on ways to address school avoidance.