They're texting, DM-ing, and meeting up for coffee. Most young adults say they're happy with their friendships and confident in their social skills. If that's true, why do so many young people still report feeling lonely? A new study offers an answer, and it's a hopeful one.

The latest research challenges the assumption that loneliness stems from a lack of social contact. Instead, it suggests that even amid thriving friendships, many young adults experience a kind of emotional whiplash brought on by constant life changes and delayed stability.

Frequent transitions and uncertainty, so common in the twenties and thirties, can quietly erode emotional security, even for those surrounded by friends.

The study paints a complex picture of young adulthood as socially rich yet emotionally unsettled. Jeffrey A. Hall, professor and chair of the University of Kansas Department of Communication Studies and his colleagues surveyed nearly 5,000 Americans of all ages about their friendships and recent life events such as moving, changing jobs, starting new relationships, or earning a degree.

While most young adults said they were satisfied with their friendships and confident in making new ones, many also reported feelings of loneliness. Hall and his team aimed to explore this seemingly contradictory response. “We wanted to challenge the popular narrative that young people today are disconnected and lonely,” Hall said in a media release.

“You hear increasingly that young people are untethered and unwilling to connect to one another. Our study found young adults have plenty of friends and social opportunities and are putting real effort into staying connected. It's not that they're either lonely or connected – many are experiencing both at the same time.”

This coexistence of connection and disconnection, according to the study, may be rooted less in social deficits than in instability. Frequent transitions and uncertainty, so common in the twenties and thirties, can quietly erode emotional security, even for those surrounded by friends.

What seems to be missing, the researchers found, is something they call “ontological security,” which is a sense of predictability and belonging that anchors a person's social wellbeing. Without that foundation, even an active social life can feel fragile.

“When our lives, including our social lives, are more predictable, we tend to feel more secure and purposeful,” Hall said. “Young adults seek connection as they experience the ups and downs of becoming adults — a period of perpetual change that hopefully ends in greater stability. But since the 1990's, trends suggest young people have been delaying big life decisions like buying a home, getting married, or having children, and that delay affects how connected they feel.”

These findings help explain why loneliness in young adulthood, might be less about a shortage of friendships and more about uncertainty. In many ways, it's a developmental issue. As milestones stretch further into the future, the path to adulthood becomes longer and more fluid, offering opportunity, but also instability.

Interestingly, the study found that older adults, though they had fewer friends, reported greater social well-being. Their social lives were more stable and predictable. In contrast, younger adults, particularly college-educated women, experienced age-appropriate shifts that made it harder to find lasting emotional footing.

“…Young people have been delaying big life decisions like buying a home, getting married, or having children, and that delay affects how connected they feel.”

Still, Hall emphasizes that the study's message isn't bleak. “The study paints a hopeful picture of young adulthood not defined by isolation, but by transition,” he said. “Most young people aren't struggling to find friends; they're learning how to hold onto them while adapting to frequent life changes. Their moments of loneliness many not signal persistent isolation, but growing pains — the process of building intimacy, stability, and purpose in a society where the path to adulthood is longer and more open than ever before.”

Ultimately, the research reframes loneliness as part of the process of becoming. It's not necessarily a problem to be solved, but a passage to be understood. It's a signal that life and identity, are still in motion. For parents, educators, and mental health professionals, the takeaway is an encouraging one.

The study is published in PLOS One.